...Beauty is skin deep...

...beauty is in the eye of the beholder...beauty is subjective...... I must admit that I don't quite comprehend all of the above. One thing I know for sure is that, growing up, I was never a candidate for any beauty related matter, mainly because my skin is dark... It was always like...Julie? Oh, she's....erm...cute...!...? And, there was the constant comparison to my much fairer, in all the senses of "fair", sister. Perhaps, it was a more polite manner of asking, "so, what went wrong with Julie?"

Then, there were also the "hitam manis", "black is beautiful", and the presumably more humourous "oh, this one stayed longer in the oven!"...to further justify my "darkness"... Sigh... Well, just my luck, I suppose. It's really darn hard surviving in my own homeland, where I have to endure all these nonsense, just because I have dark skin. And, have you ever heard someone shriek out in histerical fear, "Eek! It's so hot, I'm gonna get so dark! Darn!".Yeah, like being dark is the end of the world! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! It's like a long sharp knife piercing directly through my heart and my core... Well...that's how things are...story of my life...

In my whole 39 years of living, I was never truly appreciated, by Malaysia's general public at large, as someone worth "watching"...yup, the dark skin thing. But, when I lived in Rome, Italy, woohoo! My "value" was raised many notches, as the hip and happening Italians persistently commended my "glorious skin", saying, they wished they had my skin, they wished they could look like me all year round, they wished they didn't just look glorious in summer and then turn to dead white in winter! Ah, yess! Finally, it was strangers in a strange land who could appreciate me as I am...

I always ask my very fair skinned husband, why he married me? I ask him sometimes, "aren't you embarrassed to walk by my side, don't you feel ashamed?" My eldest boy has my skin, my 2nd a little bit toned down, while my 3rd is fair like ayah. I have had to, so many times, face with the typical Malay/sian remark, "Eh, this 3rd one is very fair ya...he's so cute... Abang Ngah (Middle Brother) is fairer a bit and have big eyes...handsome...(fyi, apart from being dark skinned, i have small eyes, behind big glasses, not pretty...!) Why is Abang Long (Eldest Brother) so dark...oh, but it's okay, he's smart in school...

Well, I can't stop how and what people think, it is their human right. And, they will continue to think this way for a long, long time... I tell my boys that people who don't think much of you, are people who are not worth your time. And for myself, I rejoice with the likes of Beyonce Knowles, Rihanna, Vannessa Williams, Jennifer Lopez, Kimora, Tina Turner, Oprah Winfrey and my forever idol, Ella Fitzgerald... dark skinned women who made good...yess!

To my darling Lulu Guinness, thank you, at least I know you wouldn't come up with your range of "whitening" cream...